I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
