you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
