You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
