8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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