At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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