There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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