He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
foreskin is a definite game changer
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
