I skipped work to stalk him.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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