So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
