The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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