I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
