4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize