I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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