About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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