1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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