Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
