Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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