I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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