so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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