I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
