Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
