I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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