Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
