Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
