I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
