I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
