Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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