i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize