So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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