how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
