And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
How's work?
Spinning.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
