Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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