so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
