a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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