he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
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Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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