Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
