The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
