Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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