Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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