i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
