Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dignity is for republicans.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
