note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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