Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize