who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
