Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize