Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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