In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
