i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
