this boner is exhausting
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
