After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize