peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
