That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
