Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
