I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
