she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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