that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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