Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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