pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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