so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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