evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
