i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
