Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
