your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
