Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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