i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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