I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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